Reward

After my last, obviously-written-at-1am post about putting in the maximum amount of effort into what you're doing even when there appears to be no obvious improvement, it makes sense to talk about rewards. Also, it's Saturday morning and I'm procrastinating before I hit the gym.

There's a few different types of rewards linked to the point of this blog. There's the health and fitness rewards. There's the roller derby rewards. and last but by no means least there are the rewards that people buy themselves once they reach some goal they set. And who doesn't love trinkets?

I'll start at the beginning. For most women, the rewards of working out five times a week and not eating a cream cake with every trim latte in their day is to be THIN. Glorious, wonderful, thin! At least, that's what personal trainers and the makers of the Ab-Doer(Ab Doer? How stoned does someone have to be to think that's a marketable name?) THINK women see as the reward for all that effort. When I first went to my gym, the trainer asked all the usual questions. When he got to the "and what do you want out of coming to the gym?" I remember saying more upper body strength so I could improve my rock climbing, improved general health etc. etc. I could see him smiling and nodding, waiting for me to add "...and I guess I'd like to lose a bit of weight too". BAM! That was it in his mind. LOSE WEIGHT got written in big letters on my profile, and everything from then on was couched in "and this is a great fat-burning exercise".

What. The. Hell?

What happened to the climbing? My intention to walk the Milford track? All the other awesome stuff I'd talked about? Nope, as far as he was aware, it was all in the dress size. I tried his programme about twice, before going to another personal trainer at the gym and telling exactly what I needed. Problem solved, as she actually heard words other than I MUST FIT INTO A SIZE 8 OR I WILL DIE ALONE whenever I opened my mouth.

Apparently, this insanity on my part to want more than just a smaller ass is spreading. The Guardian published this article yesterday. It appears that the message is getting out there.


Tongariro, October 2010


Goatfell, Spring 2008. Note pained expression

OK, so the URL for this blog has the word "skinny" in it. I still talk about my weight loss like it's a big deal, and I really do want to lose weight. HOWEVER. This is not the ONLY reason I'm doing all this, and to assume it is, and that all women have this sole reason, is to dramatically underestimate the importance of being healthy and fit in both mine and thousands of other people's lives. I really love that last year when I climbed Tongariro I was able to do it relatively easily. Compared to climbing Goat Fell on Arran in early 2008, when I failed to make the top and was one of the slowest in the group, it was like a cake walk. It pleases me no end that I can skate 28 laps of a derby track in five minutes and still breathe afterwards. Being fit feels bloody awesome. When I started, I got out of breath and all sweaty really quickly and it felt horrible to me, painful almost. Now, it's just a sign that I'm doing the right thing. Progress.

Which leads me (finally!) to the second reward set: derby. Unlike the nebulousness of "being healthy", derby has a structure and the rewards are pretty clear. Pass skills test. Start scrimmaging. Try out for a team. Get drafted to a team. Play in a bout. Keep playing in bouts. Win bouts. Be really really good. To do this requires effort. Proper, all-out, balls to the wall, effort. When I started back in July, I SUCKED. straight-legged, stiff-bodied, very bruised, hurting for days afterward sucked. Like learning to ride a motorbike, it didn't come easy or natural for me at all. But I saw the potential if I just stuck at it and paid my dues, and after six months and countless hours spent at freshmeat training, public sessions, school carparks and the like, I finally think I'm about good enough to get over the first hurdle. I don't expect it to get easier once that's passed of course, because to pass every other hurdle requires the maintenance or even increase of that effort. Otherwise, what's the point? On Queen of the Rink, they posted Top 7 Tips for Fresh Meat. My favourite tip from this?

4. Wax on, wax off. Does a drill seem easy to you? Then you are being a lazy, sloppy, no count, time wasting, dumb bitch. The best skaters in the game do hundreds of laps and basics til they puke. Get lower, engage your core, add a power option. If anything is comfortable or easy you are not making the most of the drill.

To me, that's derby right there. I'll admit, I don't put in 100% for 100% of the drills I do, but I try to. and every time I try harder. Because if I do that, and keep doing it, then I'll hopefully get the rewards that derby has to offer. Someone asked me the other day if I was concerned about the amount of skating I was doing (about 3/4 times this week). I was about to reply "It's a lot, but my test is real soon." I stopped myself before I answered, realising that no, it is a lot, but that's because I'm training to play derby. It's not going to let up after skills test, if anything it's gong to get harder. But then, the rewards will be greater and I love that.

Finally, to the trinkets. I was going to post up some links to places that sell cool stuff, but to be honest the day is wasting and I have a gym to attend. so, y'know, shiny things and socks and shit. Yeah.