Milestones

As I've no relevant pictures, today's post will be illustrated with what google comes up with if you do an image search for "Chinaman's Hill Auckland"

Today I did something I had a sneaky feeling I could do but hadn't had the courage to actually attempt before. I successfully ran ten kilometres, stopping only for traffic lights (and then I was running on the spot). I'm sure for quite a few of you, running 10k ain't no thang, but for me it felt pretty special!

knitting!

I didn't actually wake up this morning with any big running-related ideas (though I was going to run at some point) but when someone invited me to go skating outdoors (which I can't do now as I'm outdoorwheelless!), I replied with "I'm going for a run instead, might try and do 10k today!". Challenge made, I figured I actually had to go run the bloody thing now, or at least try. I went to MapMyFitness and plotted out a route that was a mashup of two of my more regular runs (including "Chinaman's Hill" which is a bit fierce). It looked huge on the map, but not intimidating. I've written here before that I run better when I stop planning and just go, but with the triathlon in a few weeks and a half marathon in the distance, it feels time to up the game a little.

The longest run I've done prior to this was 7k, and always felt destroyed after those, so how would that extra 3k feel?

Slug!

This evening was a triumph of positive thinking. I had told people I was going to, I knew I could do it, and I kept telling myself I could all the way around. I'm quite pleased that I can now run a good 6+km without feeling especially tired or winded. At about the 7km mark (fastest time for that little marker too), I started to feel it. Not gasping for air, just...fatigued. Legs getting heavy, my feet starting to chafe in my shoes, stomach feeling a bit sick. By the time I hit The Hill, I was running at snails pace. This is when the positive thinking went up a gear. I kept thinking about how awesome it would be to say I could run 10k, what nonsense I'd write in my blog after I'd got home, how if I could do a sprint tri I could definitely GET THE HELL UP THAT HILL! I grimaced a grin at all the lithe, toned runners sailing down it. I gritted teeth, focused on breathing in time with my steps. On not finding an excuse to walk. And I did it.

Of course, after The Hill, comes.....another hill! By then, though, I was all good. Blisters? Tiredness? Who cares! I was on the home stretch and though I wouldn't say I was flying up it I certainly put in the effort. I even took a slightly less direct route to my flat so I knew I'd definitely done 10k.

Rally cars!

I feel like I can say I'm a runner now. The first time I did 5k was memorable, but ten? That's a quarter of a marathon (15 April, folks, Orewa). That's Actual Fitness territory. It's left me feeling good that I've spent the last few months wisely and my training is moving in the right direction. My Marathon at 30 idea actually seems fairly reasonable tonight.

Whatever this is!

I also noticed today (thanks, summer evening shadows) that my backside wobbles a lot when I run. Like, wow. Now I know why all those cars full of drunk guys yell shit at me from time to time! I knew about the boobs (my sports bras be awesome but there are limits to all engineered structures) but the behind as well? Lordy. It struck me as I ran along one of Auckland's busiest roads, backside wibbling all the way, that there would have been a time that such a revelation would have made me slink back to my flat for a cry and (probably) a snack to feel better about having a large bum and it being seen to be working out in public. Today? Fuck it, went my line of reasoning. I'm out here running (10k!), fat ass or no. That automatically makes me above ridicule to anyone not exercising. And one thing I have noticed? People who work out don't hate on other people working out. And people who don't work out aren't really in a position to call you on your working out. So there.

Now, after all the life-affirming non-derby stuff, I received my bearings and new lid from One Woman 8 Wheels today (actually, they'd arrived on Saturday but my next door neighbour forgot to give them to me). The helmet's awesome, I look weirdly...professional? Serious? In a black helmet. The Qube 8-ball bearings are also black, and spin with ninja-like stealth. Reviews of both once the season gets underway (so close now!)

SHAMELESS PLUG: If you have a roller derby, triathlon/running or vegan-related (or all 3!) related product or service you'd like me to road/rink test for you, please get in touch by leaving me some details in the comments and I'll get right back to you!

Coaching

Best. Bout poster. Ever.

It's been a busy busy week here in The Land of Bruja. Back at training, working out really hard (when life gets stressful I reach for the sports bra), focusing on upcoming bouts and races, and entering a new stage in my derby career.

I've always been interested in coaching new skaters, and at the start of the year inquired about joining the coaching committee just to help out with the fresh meat. I was told I needed more experience (which I did), and with a post-season committee reshuffle, I found myself in an assistant coaching slot. Our new fresh meat intake started last night, and I was able to go along and help out.

What an opportunity! It's so energising to be with new people, hearing such an enthusiasm for our sport and drive to succeed. We had over 50 skaters start the course last night, and it's so exciting to think of them passing skills, learning to scrimmage, and joining the league. I like to think that teaching is something I can do pretty well (after all, I get a lot of practice) and I got some really positive feedback from both new recruits and other coaches alike.

I also found out that I am now OFFICIALLY Irn Bruja! The Master Roster has been updated and I am now the only official Irn Bruja in the whole world. That's pretty awesome to me, feels like I've, I dunno, arrived somehow? That I'm more legitimate? Sounds very petty I know, but there's something pretty cool about seeing my humble name and number on the same list as Bonnie D. Stroir, Atomatrix, and Suzy Hotrod.

There's me! Yay!

 To complete the derby week, I realised that my derbyversary was a couple of weeks ago. I was on stand down at the time so didn't really notice, but it's been a whole twelve months since I first strapped on a pair of shitty rental skates and wobbled my way around the rink, getting noisy encouragement from Bruizilla (BAM!). To think that in the last twelve months I've gone from thinking jeans were the best thing I owned to skate in, to being on the same team as my first coach, being on the travel team, and coaching myself, is pretty damn rad.
I think I've come pretty far in my first year, there's still so much to learn and the learning curve is still steep. However, I've still got the enthusiasm for playing and skating that I did when I first wobbled off the rink last July, babbling about how Bruizilla was totally awesome and I needed my own skates and when could I do it again bibble bibble. It's been an incredibly fraught year, in which things have changed for me A LOT (mostly good, but that good has come with lots of bad), but derby has helped provide a mental and physical buffer that has seen me get through it better than I would have otherwise. I've made a lot of friends, some very close (though as one pointed out "we only ever really talking about hitting people, does that count as conversation?") and now feel like I'm living in the right place for the first time in a very, very long time.

Did I mention I love this sport? I totally love this sport.

Consumed

Skating again tonight, then for a coffee and talking about skating. Yesterday I blogged about skating, and the day before I skated. Tomorrow, I'll skate. And so on.

With skills test now only days away, I feel a need to take stock and think about what's happened to me. Skating and derby and the women and men who make up the league fill a gap in my life that I didn't know existed. I used to look at people who said "I can't, I have training" and think their lives must be pretty empty. Now I feel like I'm in on the secret to awesomeness. I've talked on here about rewards, that there's the health, the milestones derby offers and the physical trinkets, but I'm in a thoughtful mood and I'm focusing on the emotional rewards. I am feeling the sweaty derby love alright.

There's an awesome feeling of having improved at something, and wanting to improve further. when I started, I was not nearly as good as I hoped I would be. I had the baby giraffe impression down pat.



Like this, only sweatier and with bruises. Less cute, too.

With a lot of physical things in the past, if I sucked at them I'd be half-assed about it, decide it wasn't that fun anyway and go do something else. But this, this was different. I saw all those other women, women who looked like me and didn't have the massive egos and the "STFU noob" stares. When I hit the deck for the fifth time that minute they were getting me back up, urging me on. And bloody hell, the buggers were right. I started getting it. The unattainable became tangible, the hurdle became surmountable. For the first time in my entire life, I saw a place for me beyond "enthusiastic beginner". It was a revelation.

It became a reason to go to the gym in the mornings. Something switched for me, and instead of going because I felt obligated to, or going because I needed to lose some kilograms, it became about getting better at something. Every interval I do now is preparing me for the track. Every set of deadlifts improves my core strength so I can take those hits better. Every beer I don't have puts me in better physical condition to do this thing that I love. On the track, the coaches have talked about the importance of urgency. Now I understand that need for urgency. To make the most of every training, of every drill, of every 30 second interval on the cross trainer.

Then there's the people. It's a broad church, sure. but my word, are they a congregation I'm proud to be a part of. I've taken part in things before where I've looked at the best players or whatever and done the hero-worship and the "I wish I could be as good as them". With derby, I don't hero worship. I respect the skills, I love watching the best in the league, but I'm thinking "I'm going to be that good. I can totally learn to do that my way." The mental shift in doing that has brought a massive leap in my confidence.

Confidence! Confidence in what my body can do. Confidence to push myself as hard as I can in front of people who are ten times better than me, knowing they are watching and feeling good about that, not intimidated. Confidence to say to a group of strangers "let's try it this way". Confidence to walk into a shop, buy a pair of tiny purple hotpants and wear them in public, because fuck you if you think they look bad on me. Confidence to tell my boss he's wrong. If my body can do all this amazing stuff, then I can do even more amazing stuff.

I just described it to a friend as being very Zen. when I'm on the track, when I'm counting the laps or taking the hits, there's nothing else in my world. No work, no money worries, nothing but the track, the coach and us. Faster, stronger, more accurate. Improve, in the word of the wise Scheisse Minelli. Always and only improve.

To quote some actress in some movie: I, am in love with this.