TOTALLY AWESOME REALISATION POST

OK, so I have to update you on Vegan Challenge (there has been a slip-up) and the duathlon I ran today (harder than I thought, lots to learn from that one) but I realised something totally amazing today and it takes precedence and I'll write about cheese some other time.

It's me! Running! Photo courtesy of Gary O

I'm on a huge documentary kick at the moment. I have a cool TV but I can't seem to get it working with the aerial cable that comes into my flat (apparently I need a freeview box). I've managed without for about 4 months now so I think I'll keep things as they are, especially as my DVD player has USB slots and there are thousands of documentaries on youtube and other places for my delectation. Today, after the duathlon that was much harder than I thought it would be (there's a lesson in that), I decided to unwind with a couple of programmes about mountaineering (I also do a little rockclimbing from time to time). I put on one about Everest and the thought struck me "Hey, that would be something awesome to do, maybe as a 35th birthday present?".

Then it struck me.

I JUST THOUGHT SERIOUSLY ABOUT CLIMBING EVEREST LIKE IT WAS TOTALLY POSSIBLE.

And it is. It'd be hard, it'd require a HUGE training commitment and a lot of money, but it's not outside the realm of possibility at all.

The reason I mention this is that training and getting fit opens up worlds like this. The more you train and the further you push yourself, the more you realise what is possible, given enough time and effort. When I first started working out, I thought in time frames of days or weeks. Then it became "I'll train for this 10k which is a few months away". Now I'm focusing on a half marathon in April. Then the full marathon in October, which is quite a ways away. I know it'll be hard, but I also know I can do it with enough preparation. Now, I'm thinking years ahead. I was looking at the website for the Speights Coast to Coast race the other day, thinking "It looks hard, maybe 2014?" but it didn't register how big a deal thoughts like that really are at the time.

The truth is, events like Coast to Coast, the marathon, Everest, or whatever you fancy, are not out of reach. The people who do these things are not members of some other species, they're people like you and me who just decided to quit with the excuses and take a long view with small steps. I know I'm not fit enough to run a marathon now, but I know with a few months of graft I will be. And that's pretty amazing.

If you want an example of someone who cut the excuses and is achieving amazing things, check out Allan Ure. I met Allan through motorcycling and he showed me some photos of before he started cycling and running (talk about change!). He's now raising money for Muscular Dystrophy by running marathons in full motorbike leathers (see the video!) and plans to run the length of New Zealand in February next year with his running partner. An ordinary guy, just like everyone else, who's looked beyond this week or this month's goal to something bigger and better.

This is what fitness can do for you, it makes pretty much everything you like feasible, given enough graft.

...........................................................

Back to more mundane things next time, and there's a review of Qube 8-Ball bearings coming soon!

The end of the season: Adjustment

Nice addition to the tattoo, and getting stitches out hurts.

So, home. How's it been?


Hard, to tell you the truth. The first few days, as I adjusted to doing everything on my own, the toilet being (at first) a good five-ten minutes away by crutch, nearly falling down the stairs a few times, and eating most of my meals at the kitchen worktop because carrying my plate was impossible, were definitely the hardest. I slept a lot. I could manage about twenty minutes of activity before I became physically and mentally exhausted, and as I came off the last of the tramadol and morphine, I was on a bit of a downer to say the least. 


You really do get a sense of how much of a privilege it is to have full operation over all your limbs when that operation is taken away. When you can only carry one cup, one plate at a time (and then really slowly, because your gait is buggered and you spill), or when you stand and battle with a heavy door into a shop for several minutes because the shop assistant is a cheeky bastard who thinks it's funny and you can't operate the door, two crutches and a bag all at once, you get a realisation how how lucky you have it the 99.9999% of your life where you've not needed walking aids. Not that I'm pretending to understand AT ALL what it's like to be permanently disabled (this is bugger-all in the grand scheme of things) but yeah, a new appreciation has been granted. 

I had the best nurse ever, the woman had VISION

I was just getting used to this new routine (being off work's been weird too), when I got another smack in the chops. At 4am on Sunday morning, I was woken up by a phone call. It was the police, asking me if I knew where my motorcycle was? Of course, when the police ask you something like that you know that the correct answer what you thought it was, and so it proved. Someone had wheeled it down the drive, smashed the dash on it, cracked the ignition and taken it off round the block. My pride and joy, ruined for some drunken fun. 


Bugger. 


I like to think that I'm a pretty positive person. I make mistakes, poor judgements, bad decisions. Sometimes it feels like I take a bigger hit for those poor decisions that other people might, but I refuse to give in to cynicism and bitterness. Since I started this blog (maybe it's YOUR fault, blogger.com!) my life's been, well, tough. Physically, emotionally, socially, mentally (that's the four pillars of health according to my lesson plans), but I've always tried not to let it get to me. I haven't cried once this year (actually, that's a bit worrying), and on the whole I like to think I'm not too much of a whiny fucker to be around. 


Sunday morning, I lost my sense of humour. I lay in bed, having slept for about four hours (in two lots of two hours). I was in real pain from my leg. My hands hurt where the crutches had impacted into my wrists. My precious motorcycle was lost to a police lockup, with an unknown amount of damage wreaked on it. People had been less than 2 metres from where I sleep (in the converted garage downstairs remember, no front door between my bedroom and the elements, just some sliding glass doors and a blind), who had malicious intent on me and my stuff. (they must have scouted the place earlier, which made me want to throw up a little). I felt so sore, so alone, just....just fucking sad, really. Sad that this had happened. Sad that I couldn't seem to catch any kind of break. I was tempted to just lie in bed all day and flip the bird to the world. I felt like giving up. 


I didn't though. I got out of bed. I posted about my woes on the Urban75 message board (where I've been a member since 2004), and someone posted if they could be annoying and ask if I'd learned anything from the experience?


I thought my reply was worth putting here.


"I read this (your post) last night and gave it some thought over today. Today, I phoned the police and insurance companies, drove out to the lockup where the bike's been kept, took photos of the damage, went to the hospital, got my stitches out, got a new cast put on, went to work, picked up my exam marking and laptop so I could write reports, went to the bike garage, got a rough quote for the repairs to the bike, came home, lodged my insurance claim, and made my dinner. All on crutches and in a fair amount of pain.

I'm of the opinion that when all is said and done I am pretty fucking unstoppable. I'm pretty incapacitated, getting very little to no help, dealing with all this shit and managing not to have a breakdown. This year I've broken a bone in my hand, been knocked out, been in a car accident, split up with the man I thought I was going to have kids with, broken my ankle, been punched at work, wrestled with issues about my sexuality, and just GOT THE FUCK ON WITH IT. It's making me realise that, to be perfectly honest, I don't actually NEED anyone in my life. "Want"? Yeah, sure if they can keep up. But "need"? I think I can handle life on my own just fine, thanks "

For context, the original thread was all about relationships and dating, hence the bit at the end. It's true though, that's been the main thing I've learned from this. I am pretty damn resourceful when I need to be. I can and will thrive,l regardless of what happens to me. I'm not reliant on other people for support or validation. I can look back on a day like today and know that I managed to do it all and still crack jokes with the nurse at the clinic, and thank the guy at the petrol station for serving me. 

Right now, I'm sore and waiting for the painkillers to kick in. I'm still jumpy at noises outside, and sleep is not going to come easy. Tomorrow I have to wrestle again with insurance companies (the bike incident looks like it might cost me about a grand if I'm very unlucky), the police, ACC, the marking and the reports. But I'll get through it, because the alternative just sucks too hard to even contemplate. 

The doctor said I could go to the gym from tomorrow, as long as I was careful. I think I might just do that.Because I am fucking unstoppable.

One fresh meat's mission to do....what?

After the angst and thinkings and musings, I woke this morning feeling....annoyingly headachey actually, but that's a minor detail. I woke up aching and sore from training for five hours yesterday, but feeling like my faith in derby had been renewed. 

I realised that this blog isn't really about it's original brief any more. When I started it about six months ago (crivvens!) it was all about how I was getting fitter and healthier through derby, and I had monthly photo updates and so on. Now it's morphed into something a bit different. Back in January, I hadn't fully appreciated the profound effect joining a league, a team and a sport would have on me. The physical stuff, that's a given now. I work out, train as hard as I can, eat right, it's just part of the bigger picture now. 

I've had a couple of wobbles recently about the sport. Do I really want to commit to it as much as I am? Am I happy to be a casually scrimmaging skater, or do I want to make the leap and see how far I can take this? I've given it a lot of thought, and I woke up this morning with a conclusion. 

I want to see how far I can go. I want to make travel team, I want to play other leagues, I want to be a pivot, I want to, well, excel in my role. If I don't make travel team this time round, I'll do it next time. If we don't make it to the finals this year, I'll be damn sure to be heading the pack in the charge for next year. I don't think I'll be happy with myself if I don't push myself and see what I can do with this awesome opportunity, not just this week or month, but way beyond that.

So I guess the blog is about that, really. Instead of a year of my attempts to look good in derby skinz (which I now own and look pretty good in!), it's about getting to where I want to be. To go from being a nervous freshie to, hopefully, a coach, a captain, a pivot. 

So much to do, and from here it all looks pretty damn good. 

Good derby strategy posts- like buses, apparently.

So I woke up early this morning with jetlag by proxy, which is ironic as L continues to snooze rather soundly and appears to have fixed her body clock in super-quick time.

Luckily for me, the internet decided to post some of interesting articles about derby strategy and rules overnight to keep me occupied, and so I thought I'd share. I am making a concerted effort to learn rules and strategy (having realised that being able to transistion does not a good derby skater make) and articles like this are an excellent resource. If anyone out there has anything they think I should be reading, please let me know!

Hot Across Buns neatly sums up my thoughts on the Slow Derby controversy that surrounds high-end play these days. There's more out there on this than I really need to point to, needless to say Anya Face makes the argument better than me.

Over at Roller Derby: Inside Track, Tank makes a very interesting case against minor penalties. Not having scrimmaged myself yet I can't really say anything about the effect for players on cumulative minors, but having NSO'd and watched a few bouts I can imagine that no minor penalties could make for a very interesting change in the pace and style of play.

Still at Inside Track (seriously, if you're skating and not reading this website, you are missing out), Mike Chexx talks about the growing professionalism in derby and what this means for the sport. For my part, I started playing derby because I loved the counter-culture, fishnets-and-fuck-you aspect of the sport but after six months hard graft at the rink and beyond I'm playing it as a sport. Admittedly, I still adore the facepaint, the legwarmers, the familial love at the games and would rather play for fun with good people than in a rigorous, loveless training environment, but I've learned a lot about the athleticism involved and the potential that the sport has and would love to see it go in that direction. As Mike points out, there is a place for both professionalism and punk rock in derby if we play it the right way!

Straight-up tips from Wry and Ginger on how to counterblock a backwards shoulder hit, though the background makes the text difficult to read unless you've just sniffed a Vivid.

Finally, some Imperial-measures-using type (Hellions of Troy) has worked out how fast a skater needs to go to do 25 laps of a WFTDA track in 5 minutes. If I was going to be a stickler about it, I'd find out the length of the route round the track taken by most skaters (inside track on corners, going to the outside track on the middle of the straightaway to make a circle shape- means you can maintain a steady pace all the way around improving efficiency) but an average works fine for this. the comments section is fascinating too, especially on the reason the track os the shape it is (thank CAD and an odd-sized Texas rink!). During my fastest five minutes, I was averaging 11.8mph or 19km/h. I'm quite pleased with that.

Today we are mostly learning how to surf at Muriwai beach, which promises to be an interesting experience! Hopefully we'll get some quality beach time too as the weather is looking good. D wanted it known that his pizza last night was a healthy option, as he hardly used any cheese. An awesome cook and health-conscious? I am a very lucky girl...