Long time no see, and where to start? With a stop.

Post-bout, Hamilton tattoo expo

Wow, has it really been over a month?

I guess apologies are in order. Work got real heavy and my derby commitments ramped up and there never seemed time to sit down and start writing. I've missed it. It's been a busy few weeks, I have a few posts that I NEED to write, but here's a brief overview:

• Vegan February didn't last past the three week mark.  Mainly work and just finding it impossible to plan and organise my diet round my schedule. It has had some very positive outcomes though, so I'll be writing an in-depth post about it soon
• I played my first bout at the Hamilton Tattoo Expo last month. It was just an exhibition bout and we had about 20 people there (thanks to the friends who came!) but it was amazing to be back on skates and bouting. I loved it (especially winning a bout. That was new. And great). Again, there needs to be a bit more on this
• I got back into the season and coaching, and was voted in as Head of the coaching committee (eeek!)
• The Qube 8-Ball bearings from One Woman 8 Wheels. Awesome. Fantastic. The need to be reviewed. 
• They finally took the screws and plate out of my ankle last week....

....and this is where the wheels come off. After a bad reaction to the anesthetic and another trip in an ambulance, I was well and truly over my ankle and health issues. I've been diagnosed with a minor heart condition (bradycardia) which normally doesn't do anything but when combined with general anesthetics can cause some problems (particularly in the fast lane of the motorway, as I discovered). A couple of days later I received the incredibly sad news that one of my old mates from London had died suddenly. My job, whilst incredibly rewarding and all all the cliches has been incredibly stressful this term and particularly the last couple of weeks, but through it all I've had derby giving me some structure and time out from the relentless pace this year has been played at. I wouldn't have described my derby schedule as relaxing, but it was good for me. I had thought that getting the plate and pins out and letting the ankle heal for a couple of weeks to mean I could close The Broken Ankle chapter.

No such luck.

Yesterday I went for my post-surgery checkup and, after yet another health scare (is it infected? Will I need to be rushed to hospital (again)? Let's take lots of blood and loads more x-rays and find out! Thankfully not this time) I asked the doctor when I could get back on my skates and get back to running. I was due to play the graduation bout this weekend and I'd accepted not this time, but surely the season opener!

"Three months" was the reply.

Oh.

I protested. Of course. Made some pleas for sanity. The doctor had seen this coming I think, because he showed me an x-ray and explained very slowly and clearly that, now the screws have been removed, my ankle is extremely fragile. A fall, a twist, anything that can stress it and it could "snap like a twig" (his exact words). The x-rays show a fibula that looks like swiss cheese, it's horrifying seeing all these holes in my goddamn leg. He said I should treat it like it's been broken again (which in a way it has) and if I don't recovery can be measured in years.

I get it. I'll do as I'm told.

Doesn't mean I like it though.

In all honesty, this was a ground zero moment. The stress of work, some personal stuff, being constantly worried about my health (when a registrar asks you if there's a history of heart attacks in the young people in your family, you worry), and now the loss of the sport that was keeping me going saw me hit the "Oh fuck" button. There was a heap of other things behind the dam and derby was doing an adequate job of keeping the wall up. And now I don't have it until the end of June.

I feel bereft.

Actually, it's more than that. I feel cheated. I had worked my arse off to get back to pre-injury weight and fitness, I was getting my skating skills back together, it was working. It's not just three months off skates, it's three months plus all the work to get back to where I was. Again.

I'll be fine. Soon. Right now I'm feeling about as miserable as the weather looks.